I called the lab every day to ask for a update. This test result can only first be sent to the clinic not to the “patient.” I really hate that a pregnant woman being called as a “patient.”
In psychology, we call a false signal — noise, a false positive, a false alarm. 7 days.
The test results shown that everything is fine. There is no significant finding from the fetus’ DNA. The previous suspicious test result, indicating higher risk of a chromosomal disease can be canceled now.
What did I learn from this series of tests and sufferings?
- I question myself and the modern technology of prediction and wanting to control much.
- The consequence should be considered before conducting a test
- Clinical procedure is not hard math. It does not depend on logic or facts. Rather, probability and chance.
Prediction and Controlling
When I was in school, I learnt about an advancement in technology, namely artificial rain. The whole debate points were on “whether human can replace god” and if it has a negative impact on nature and the eco-system.
I asked myself many times, why did I agree to exercise the screening tests. Tests are like police at the border control. If you pass, you would not even remember this uncomfortable moment. If not, one would always remember it as one’s freedom being restricted by an authority against one’s free will. It is very scary.
I was very certain that my fetus is fine and I am fine. The test is like buying insurance. No one buys a life insurance imagining self’s accident or death. It is rather an “in-case that… .”
It turned out to be horrible and very costly. I was showing some trends of depressive symptoms and I was not motivated to do anything else. I thought although all kinds of scenarios. I even called to figure out if individual could take the “aborted bones and blood and meat” back home to bury the fetus.
I tend to over-think and over-analyse any situation. But I wonder if anyone else could just hold and live and wait for the next test result as if nothing happened. As rational as it should be, as the experimental method told me.
No one can take back any decision in life. What one can do is to correct it for the future. To this end, I would say, if abortion is no option for you, there is no need to do any of these tests. Or if you want to do these tests, go for the more accurate one, although it costs more money. And if time and money allow, just do all of the non-invasive tests at the same time.
The next part, I will talk about how the cost will be covered by my insurance company and make a brief conclusion.